Indlela yokuzithandayo: ingqondo yengqondo

Siye safundiswa ukususela ebuntwaneni ukuba sithande abazali, odade, abazalwana, ezinye izalamane, ootitshala, kodwa akukho mntu uthi uthanda. Kanti ke zonke iingcali zisesigabeni seengqondo zivumelanisa ukuba inxalenye enkulu yeengxaki zomntu-kokubili kumntu omdala nakwimeko yangaphambili-ivela ngokuthe ngqo "ekuthandeni" ngenxa yokuba yinto yakhe. Izizukulwana ezikhulu zikhulile (ingakumbi kwi-Soviet Union yangaphambili), eziyingozi nje ngetyhefu. Ngenxa yoko, izinto ezinjalo ezifana nokungaxakali ebomini, ukungalungi, ukungaqiniseki, ukungaqiniseki. Konke kubhekiselela iingcambu zeengxaki ezithe zazingqongqo kulo lonke uhlobo lomntu. Ngokuchasene nale mvelaphi, kutshanje waqala ukuthetha ngokumalunga nokuba umntu akanakuze abe nolonwabo ebomini, ukuba ekuqaleni akaqali ukuzithanda yena. Kubantu abaninzi abaye baqonda isizathu sokubandezeleka kwabo, kuba lunomdla ukwazi indlela yokuzithandayo.

Psychology yabantu

Kubonakala, kakuhle, yintoni enzima kule nto? Yithatha nje kwaye uqale uzinothando. Nangona kunjalo, lo msebenzi awunjalo ngelinye ilanga, kodwa kungabi nenyanga. Njani, umzekelo, umfazi ongazithandi iminyaka engama-40, ngoku uyakwenza ngosuku olulodwa? Ewe, oku akunakwenzeka. Abanye indlela yokwenza ukuba uthandane, ukuba awunamdla kuwe? Emva kwakho konke, ukuzithandayo ngokwakho kungumkhuba omubi kwaye onyanyekayo njengokutshaya, umzekelo, okanye into enjalo. Ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye ukuyilahleka kuyimfuneko ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye ichaneke, kuphela kuphela umphumo wexesha elide uya kunikwa. Ungathanda njani? I-Psychology inceda ukufunda oku sele kudala, ukuba uthando lwakho alugonywanga ukususela ebuntwaneni. Ngoko, kukho uqeqesho oluninzi, iincwadi, iinkqubo, kunye neengcali zengxoxo.

Yintoni enokuyenza kunye nendlela yokuzithandayo?

Ingqondo yengqondo iqalwa ngokuvisisana ngokuvisisana nehlabathi elijikelezile. Kodwa izinto zangaphandle zenza konke ukutshabalalisa le "khosi." Indoda ezithandayo ngokwayo ingqinelana nayo kunye nayo yonke indawo. Yiyo ndlela abaphathi beengqondo bachaza ngayo ukuba umntu uzithanda yena. Kwenzeka njani ukuba imeko echaseneyo ibonakaliswe? Umntu uhlala ephikisana ngexesha lonke, uzigxeka rhoqo kunye nayo yonke into, ubona abanye bebhetele, banenhlanhla, baphumelele. Uhlala eqhathanisa nabanye, inzondelelo, ukuzithethelela, ukholelwa ukuba akukho nto ifanelekileyo, uzama ukukholisa wonke umntu, ukunyamekela, ukunyamezela, njl njl. , Ukunyaniseka kokuhamba. Indoda enjalo indlela yokuzithandayo?

Psychology of change

Inkqubo kufuneka iqale ngokumkelwa kwengxaki. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, kukulungele ukutyelela isazi sengqondo se-psychologist "sithatha" zonke i-debris kwaye isebenze ukuze umntu angatshintsha ngokupheleleyo. Yaye ungathanda njani? I-Psychology, iincwadi - konke kulungile, kodwa akusiyo wonke umntu unokufumana ixesha lokufunda kunye nemali, emva koko, ukuhlawulela ingcali. Qala encinci, kodwa wandise umsebenzi wakho nsuku zonke. Zixelele ukuba ungumntu ongcono, omhle nomthandayo kwihlabathi. Phinda oku kusasa, ngobusuku ngaphambi kokulala, ukhangela kwisibuko xa ucinga. Yeka ukuyeka kwaye uzigxeke kanye kunye nento yonke, ngokuchaseneyo, udumise yonke into, nokuba uyongamela. Zizenzele ngokuthengwa okuthe xaxa, zithenge oko ufunayo ixesha elide, kodwa wacinga ukuba awufanelekanga. Into ephambili kukuba, ukususela ngoku, ungavumeli nabani na ongayichasayo, ukunyamekela nangokunyelisa. Oko kubalulekile, ukuba abanye baqale ukukuxabisa. Kodwa oku kuya kwenzeka emva kokuba uthanda ngokwenene. Emva kwakho konke, ukuqaphela ngabanye kuyisiphumo, kwaye isizathu siwe, kodwa asikho enye indlela.