Indlela phosela umntu aphume entlokweni yakho? icebiso yezo

Ngaphandle ukuhlupheka akunakwenzeka ukufumana ukungcamla lobomi, ukuze bafunde ukuba baqonde baze banandiphe zonke iinkcukacha. Iimvavanyo wobulali ubuntu, ukunika amandla okuqhubela phambili kuphuhliso lokudala, uvakalelo yenze ukuqonda ngamava abanye abantu, kodwa sihlandlo ngasinye, elahlekelwe kobudlelwane, imimangaliso nganye indlela ukulibala umntu omthandayo. Psychology awayihlangula, ukunika iingcebiso, ukuvumela ukwamkela le meko.

uthando eza

Nkqu lwalamano nokuthantamisa kwaye onyanisekileyo kuphela ngenxa yokuba iimvakalelo kwabantu iyahlozinga kwaye akusoloko zingachazwa ngokwengqiqo. Xa abantu ngothando bamfanyekiswe inkanuko, abaqinisekanga zibalulekileyo iingxaki esakhulayo zasekhaya, umahluko kwezemfundo, kwimbono lobomi, iintsilelo iqabane lakhe. Kwezinye qwa akunakwenzeka ukwakha into ehlala ixesha elide, kwaye ke ngoko kufuneka ilungiswe njani ukuze into yokuba kungekudala baya kuphela. Izifundo ezahlukeneyo 'ukunika' angathabatheki kwiminyaka emithathu ukuya esibhozo. Endaweni yawo kufuneka eze ukuhloniphana, intsebenziswano kunye ubuhlobo.

Kodwa akukho namnye uya kusinda ngenxa yokuba omnye amahlakani akuthethi kugqobhoka iimvakalelo ezintsha omnye umntu, okanye uya kuqalisa ukuva kabi kwi ulwalamano yangoku. Kulula abo kuqala wawa luthando, okanye inxalenye yokuqala wathatha isigqibo. Kwaye indlela ukulibala owayesakuba isithandwa engaphumi sikulungele izinto ezinjalo, ogama qwa basaphila, kuba akunakwenzeka ukuba ayeke ukuthanda ngexesha elifanayo ngomlingo. Inyathelo lokuqala kunye ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyenze - kukuqonda ilungelo lokuba wonke ubani unelungelo ukhetho zabo baze bathathe izigqibo. Akwenzeki ukuba malunga umntu ukukhalaza izithembiso zakhe, ulwamkelo kwakutshutshiswa kunye nemvo umsebenzi.

Ibinzana ethandwayo "kumlo ngenxa yothando" akananto yakwenza ukubeka uxinzelelo iqabane. Oku kunokuba umnxeba ukubonakaliswa iimvakalelo zabo ukuba umntu kwaba ukuqaphela ukuba uyamthanda. Kodwa ukwenza isigqibo, kubaluleke gqitha ukuba abe naye.

ubuhlobo, isenzakalo

At ekuqaleni kolwalamano kusoloko ithuba ungazikhupha, ukuba omnye amahlakani akaboni amathuba kuphuhliso lwabo. Kwezi iinoveli ngokufuthi zimxinile abantu abasemngciphekweni, kunye ukuzithemba elisezantsi kunye nokoyika elilolo. Kunokuba ukuphuhlisa - ukusebenza umphandle, ubukrelekrele, umsebenzi zobungcali - indoda ungxamele ngayo izinto ezintsha. Akukho mbuzo ukuba ukuphosa umntu aphume entlokweni yenu, ukuba uyeke ekuhambeni kwexesha. ulwalamano, isenzakalo kunokuba zombini wokuzimisela ukhetho: Resort okanye ezothando, ulwalamano nje ngesondo, ukusetyenziswa efanayo nganye ezinye (ngutitshala umfundi, intloko-slave).

Oku ukhuseleko kungakhathaliseki ukuba ezinye amahlakani akayi kufumana isenokubakhobokisa angamvumeli emva kokuba bohlukene. Kukho iimeko apho ubuhlobo obunjalo zibe iimvakalelo ngenene, kodwa usoloko unomngcipheko ukuba abantu bethetha ngabom. Noko ke, maxa wambi kwenzeka engaqondanga, ukuba elinye iqela liqhubeka ngoyaba imiqondiso ngamampunge lobudlelwane apho ayeke:

• iintsilelo ezicacileyo yomkhwa okanye lowo iqabane akathandi ukubeka ngethemba yokutshintsha imeko yaye "imfundo kwakhona".
• Ukungalingani kubume bentlalo, ubudala, inqanaba lophuhliso.
• Umntu kungenzeka ukuba ukujongana nengxaki ukuba ukukhumbula indlela umntu omthandayo, ukuba umzali okanye abanye abantu ezibalulekileyo simelane neentlobano zokwazana naye.
• igalelo olungalinganiyo kokwandiswa kobuhlobo (ngokweemvakalelo, ezemali, lobuqu).
• Ukungabikho komdla mutual (ngaphandle sex).

izigaba ukuhlupheka

Xa yokulahlekelwa umntu kufuneka balungele yokuba akunakwenzeka ukuba baphume kubudlelwane ngoncumo sonwabe. Ke kuya kufuneka ukuba mayisiwe ebantwini khona onke amanqanaba lokuzila, leyo lifana ukukhathalela umntu omthandayo ebomini, ngenxa yokuba ngoku okunene ukuphila ngaphandle ifomati unxibelelwano lwangaphambili. Ngawaphi amanyathelo?

• A nematha kunye ndindisholo. Ingakumbi xa isigqibo malunga ukungcola ukumangala zastaot. Kunokuthatha iintsuku ezininzi.
• Ukuphika of engokoqobo. Endaweni yokusombulula le ngxaki ukuze bamphose njani umntu aphume entlokweni yakho, ngokufuthi iqabane lizama ukufumana phandle i ulwalamano, engafuni ukukholelwa ukuba kwenzeka ntoni. Inqanaba ungatsala inyanga okanye ngaphezulu.
• Ukwamkelwa kwale meko kunye namava intlungu yangoku yokwenene ilahleko. Zinokuhlala malunga neenyanga ezintandathu.
• Athomalalise ukubandezeleka, ephumile ngasendleleni egameni ezinye iingxaki kunye neengxaki zobomi.

lokudela key

Omnye iimpazamo ezinkulu oluntu amazwi elo xesha selapha. Njengoko kungenakwenzeka ukuba batsibe izigaba ezibalulekileyo zokuzila, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba azive buhlungu intliziyo malunga yokulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo kanye. Esi sizathu esinye ngaphezulu ukuba ukubamba imifuniselo ezithandabuzekayo ngokwabo xa ufumana ukuze babe nolwalamano kungekho elizayo. Kodwa sihlandlo ngasinye ufundisa ukoyisa intlungu uze uyigcine nasemagumbini ezinzulu umphefumlo, esivumela umntu ukuphila ukuzalisekisa iimfuno zabo. Nakuba sekudlule izalamane iintlungu buthuntu esibukhali kwaye zize imvelaphi kokuphela kwexesha ukususela kwiinyanga ezintandathu ukuya kunyaka.

Le ukungaqondi yesibini kukuba nesinqumka kungaba knock nesinqumka kuphela, kwaye ke ngoko, kuyimfuneko ngokukhawuleza kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba bakuphembelele babe nolwalamano entsha. Okokuqala, akufanele ukuba iqabane lakho, omenzelayo njengoko abanye uhlobo ipilisi kwaye hinde kusetyenziswa nje kuba umntu nengxaki engqondweni. Okwesibini, akufanele kuye, ngaphandle kokuya kuwo onke amanqanaba zokuzila, musa zoba izigqibo eziyimfuneko malunga nezizathu ligqobha indlu, abantu baya kuqhubeka anganyathela iharika enye kwakhona ekusombululeni ingxaki ukuze bamphose njani indoda entlokweni yakhe.

Treasonous "ukuba nje ..."

Uncedo kuza kuphela xa iqabane iya kukwazi ukwamkela imeko uze nazigqibo nesigqibo elinye iqela. Yintoni ebangela oku rhoqo? Ngumzali, ithemba, inkolelo ukuba basenako ukwenza umahluko, ukuba alungise le meko, ukuba badlale iziganeko, ngamazwi, nangezenzo. Ukuba iqabane yakho indalo nokuthantamisa, unika ithuba lesibini, ngoko ke wesithathu, kodwa ekugqibeleni bobabini ngexesha labo, imizwa niwonakalise self. Ngokufuthi, le sigqibo ivumela Ezecala lesibini "dolyubit 'yokuqala deal with ekwahlukaneni kunokuba nobungozi neemfuno ezazimalunga neziqu zabo neemvakalelo. Okokuqala yaba lula, kwaye eyesibini uza ndlongo kunye nentiyo ngenxa lowo isetyenziswa nje. Kusoloko kulula ukuba ushiye kunokuba uphose indima.

Indlela ukuba ungahlali entloko umntu othandekayo xa ukuze ukuba ahlwayele intshabalalo ngeenxa zonke kuye inzondo? Zihlonele solution iqabane kwaye zama ukujonga ngumtyholwa in ukuvuleka. Mizwa, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba umntu ngcono kunye umntu mbi. Oku kungenxa yokuba bobabini kwi ulwalamano engonwabanga. Akukho mfuneko ukubonakalisa kumxholo 'ukuba ... "baze bangene elidlulileyo. Kufuneka kugxininiswe koko kufuneka izakutshintsha kwixesha elizayo.

Ngubani na ukuba ityala?

Ukutshatyalaliswa ulwalamano - kusoloko luxanduva bobabini. Abantu ababa okanye ukulungele ukoyisa iingxaki nokungavisisani. ayikwazi kuba noxanduva into engeyiyo ukuhlangabezana ngokupheleleyo ezilindelekileyo bolunye uhlanga ngayo abantwana bekulindelekile ezingahlangabezwanga, kodwa iqabane - ingqumbo. Xa ukuwa eluthandweni kwaye ziyawa iindondo rose-bala, wonke umntu ukhululekile ukuba isigqibo malunga nendlela eya kuso loo mntu okanye hayi. Ukungabi nako ukwamkela oko kuba yintoni na - oko ndingenalo uthando, nokuzingca yabantu umnqweno. Siba kusoloko ukhetho: kuhlala okanye uhambe. Hlala - ngoko ke thabatha nayo yonke amaphutha ayo umntu.

Ngexesha nayiphi uthandane naye yena uzama ukukhangela ngcono kunokuba ngokwenene na, ngoko ke kufuneka ukuba siziqaphele Ngaloo mathuba nje umntu uziphethe kunye nabanye abantu. Ukuba nolwalamano yangaphambili, yena ephuma, beziphethe ngokungafanelekileyo, sinako baqikelele ukuba kuya kwenzeka ntoni xa iimvakalelo yakhe obathandayo entsha epholile. Ukuze soyise ingqumbo, musa ukuluvusa elidlulileyo, Isaci kufuneka isilogeni, "hayi Khumbula." Inyathelo lokuqala ukuya kule - ngokuyeka ngumtyholwa ukufuna ekutshatyalalisweni ubudlelane.

izinto ozithandayo

Iinkumbulo ngokusisulu, xa umsebenzi wethu uye kumisiwe. Eyona nto ilungileyo - ukuba switsha umsebenzi, ikuba, okanye ukufumana imfundo engakumbi. Imeko ephambili ukuze icala ukuthandwa kwaye afuna ukuba uzinikele kuye. Usuku kufuneka icwangciswe ukuze ube nexesha dalliance. Ukuba holide ezayo, ongayi kuba nako ukudluliselwa, kuhle ukuya kwi uhambo. emibonweni ezintsha useza ingqondo ibangele iimvakalelo ezakhayo, eziyimfuneko ukuze babe ngokwakhe ukufumana impendulo yombuzo ukuze bamphose njani indoda entlokweni yakhe.

Umculo kunceda kakhulu ukuba isiphumo therapeutic. Qiniseka ukuba isimiso yeziphumo eekonsathi bands omthandayo, ukwenza iividiyo iingoma zabo okusemandleni, ukuze baxoxe albhamu entsha kukhululwa kwiforam. Konke oku kunokwenzeka phantsi imeko engundoqo - ukuba bahlukane ithemba umnxeba, isigqibo variable okanye umntu omthandayo ngqondo enye. Nto inokwenzeka, kodwa ube wothuka xa ubomi ibonisa indlela amaqabane ungafumana kunye ngaphandle komnye. Kwaye ngoko ke isigqibo kuya kufuneka ukuba uthathe kulowo ngasekhohlo. Okwangoku, susa imbalelwano ziphele ukuba sifune kumazwi okugqibela iimpendulo kwimibuzo yanamhlanje.

abahlobo

Kwisigaba sokuqala umntu kube nzima ukuba nje nokuphuma ebhedini kwaye ushiye indlu. Ndingathanda ukuba ndedwa ndikhale. Oku ke kuqhelekile. Kungenjalo, njani ukulibala umntu omthandayo? Psychology ichaza iimeko apho inkqubo ilibele, yaye abantu baphelelwa ukulawula le meko. Kwezi zihlandlo sifuna uncedo kubahlobo, ukuze iqwalaselwe. Bona kuphela uyakwazi ukuphulaphula nokuxhasa naye, kodwa kukunceda ukuba aququzelele nexesha lokuphola, ngaphandle kokushiya engafunwayo ixesha free. Abahlobo bokwenene baya akayi kwenza izigqibo ukuba umntu onika iingcebiso othile, yaye zijolise ekuphuculeni ukuzithemba, nto leyo yokuqala ubunzima.

Kukho uluvo lokuba sifanele balahle zonke izinto ezisikhumbuza lo mntu kanye onothando. Maxa wambi siyicacisa ngokucacileyyo buhlungu, ukuze goca yonke nje kwibhokisi enye okanye ebhokisini, susa kwiindawo ezikude. Ixesha liphola, kangangokuba emva kwexesha elithile kwisigaba nokoyika iintlungu passes, yaye lo mntu unako ukwenza isigqibo malunga iimvakalelo, ukuba ukunxiba elifakwa elinikiweyo kanye okanye hayi. Oku kuya kuxhomekeka ekubeni ingaba okanye akafumaneki amandla kwiqabane ukwamkela kuphela meko, kodwa ukuxolela omnye umntu.

intethelelo

Emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa kuyo nayiphi na imeko ukuba uzibuze umbuzo ongundoqo: yintoni na yakhe yokugcina badumele kakhulu. Akusoloko unobangela iimvakalelo luthando. Oku ingqumbo, umsindo, uloyiko, ubulolo nomnqweno nanini na iindleko ukuze kufikelelwe ezinqwenelekayo - iqabane umva, umzekelo. Ngelo xesha, ukuba kunokwenzeka sele ukushiya ulawulo "Musa ukubukhumbula ', kuba imbuyekezo kwi elidlulileyo abusayi izinto ezibuhlungu. ingxoxo ethembekile ngokwakho Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba balungele ekwakheni ubudlelwane ezintsha, ukwenza izigqibo ezichanekileyo kwiimpazamo zamandulo. Inyathelo lokugqibela kufuneka axolelwe kanye omthandayo, kuba kufuneka oku ukuzama uzibeke endaweni yakhe.

Xa bengqondo, kukho indlela unyango yosapho, ngokuba indlela lotshintsho lobeko lwe Hellinger, nto leyo inceda ekwakheni ubudlelwane yomlingane. Omnye weyona migaqo - lilinge ukuhlalutya iintshukumo kunye neemvakalelo iqabane. Le ndlela kukhokelela wafumanisa: ayeka iqabane onothando, ngokuhlakanipha kuzifihla iimvakalelo zabo bokwenyaniso emva imaski yokungakhathali okanye abantu abangenamdla, kumphefumlo uziva ingqiqo ityala, ubuhlungu kunye ukunganeliseki kunye naye. Yena, naye, wanikwa isigqibo buhlungu kwaye kube nzima malunga ngokwahlukana, ngoko akukho yimbi ngaphandle ukuxolela bakulibale umntu kobu bomi nje wayengekho endleleni. Kunye nokuxolela ayikho kangako neqabane njengoko nathi, ukuze aligwebe ukuvumelana eziyimfuneko kunye noxolo.

Kuphela emva kokuphumelela yonke indlela, umntu lowo ukulungele babemlindile ngeenxa kwikona ulonwabo.