Yintoni na iwayini? Wines ku bengqondo. yecala

Ukuba ulonwabo ibe yeqhelekileyo zonke, yintoni na iwayini, wonke umntu uyazi. Ukuziva unobutyala ngabom ilinywa kuthi ukususela ebuntwaneni ngabazali bethu kunye nootitshala. Sikhula kunye ipateni sele lusekiwe, "ukuba uyazi yintoni iwayini -. Ukulungisa impazamo" Ingaba kulungile, kubalulekile ukuba uziva unetyala okanye hayi, siza kufunda kweli nqaku.

Inkcazo "ityala" in bengqondo

Ethetha imixube zenzululwazi. Zengqondo bathi ityala lonke uluhlu ithi ngokweemvakalelo, wambopha, kuqala kwiinto zonke, ngemvo "sisazela." Ukuba, ke, ukuba ngqo ngakumbi, lo tyala psychology ibhekisa ngamava umntu imvakalelo yokunganeliseki okanye izenzo zakho, ngokunjalo ezinye livakale phakathi ukuziphatha komntu kunye neenqobo bezamkele eluntwini. Ezinye izikolo zengqondo cinga ukuba ityala bangadibana amalungu kuphela kuluntu ephuhliswe kakhulu, lo gama abantu ngasemva kunye nabantu ngengqondo ubuntwana le imvakalelo ayaziwa.

Ngubani na uziva unetyala?

Exakayo, unetyala esizibonakalisa kunxibelelwano non-ngomlomo, nkqu nezilwanyana. Khumbula oko kubonakala ngathi inja wokona? Eyes elibhalwe ngokumileyo, bazifinyeza neendlebe entloko. Ukuba ikati wayiba sausage, emveni wazama ukususa ityala, kuba eqonda ukuba isenzo wakhe livakale kunye imilinganiselo yokuziphatha kunye nezentlalo nosapho, apho aphambukele. Ngoko ke, unetyala - kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba nkqu izilwanyana, singasathethi ke abantu kakhulu yaye ephucukile.

Nekukhankanywe kuyo iingongoma ngemvo ityala?

Ngokutsho uphando ngu Dr. Psychology D. Unger, lowo inxaxheba ekufundeni yintoni na nandzu, u ta va imvakalelo yom- mntu wenziwa amacandelo ezifana inguquko nokuvuma yokuba engalunganga.

Inguquko esibonakaliswa izityholo okufana ezibekiweyo ngokwakhe. "Kwakutheni ukuze ndenze ntoni na?" - ubuza ngokwakhe lowo avakalelwa unetyala. Icandelo lesibini - ingqalelo kubi yayo. Lo mba lubonakaliswa iimvakalelo, ihlazo, uloyiko kunye lusizi.

Kutheni sifuna ukuziva unetyala?

Kwakutheni ukuze umntu ukuze uzive ochaphazela umonakalo kangaka? Kukho uhlobo umdla, ecetywayo ngu Dr. Weiss ukuba amava kubalulekile ukuba oko kwasekwayo unxulumano phakathi kwabantu. Ngokutsho imfundiso yakhe, unetyala i iimpawu okulungisekayo eziye kwasekwa ngethuba ulwalamano elide eluntwini.

Iwayini - isimaphambili luyathandabuzeka. Ngenxa yokuba kukho ezininzi zokutolikwa la mava. Ihlabathi-edumileyo uGqr Freud kunye neqabane lakhe ukusebenza kwintsimi enye bengqondo, kodwa kancinane kamva - Dr. Mandler icebisa ukuba iwayini ixhala imizwa ezifanayo, ebizwa amazwi ezahlukeneyo. Ukuba umntu wenze impazamo okanye kufutshane kuyo, uye yokukhathazeka malunga isohlwayo usola. Ukuze balahle ixhala, umntu azame ukuba abuyise impazamo yakhe. Kwakhona, abanye abaphandi zithi ityala kunye noloyiko. Yokoyika isohlwayo - yiloo nto eyenza umntu ningaguquki kakubi.

Njengokuba kude njengoko amava oluntu yendalo ukuziva unetyala? Kuyabonakala ukuba, kwanokuba izilwanyana kunye neentsana banokuziva utyiwa sisazela, ngoko, iwayini - le ngcamango ayikho yasungulwa. Kodwa ukuba abantu musa ukubhidanisa ingqiqo uxanduva ngemvo ityala?

Yintoni a tyala ngokwemigaqo ebomini?

Makhe sibuyele ebuntwaneni ngamnye kuthi. Akukhathaliseki ngubani bamsa umntwana, aba bantu bangenelwa ukuthobela kwethu. Kamsinya nje umntwana wenza into akuyanelisi omdala, uqala ukuba nomsindo kwaye bavakalise ukungoneliseki kwabo. Ootitshala xa abazali nootitshala ukuqonda. Bakholelwa ukuba xa ukuphuhlisa engqondweni umntwana azive ityala, umntwana uya kukhula indoda elijongene, esinzulu nangokunyaniseka. Noko ke, ilapho impazamo enkulu.

Yintoni besimo ukulinywa sokwenziwa ityala?

Enyanisweni, kukho ekubeni wonke umntu ubizwa ngokuba 'ilizwi elingaphakathi "okanye" ilizwi isazela ". umntu, nokuba ngummi okanye con umntu notorious Xa wenza into engalunganga, elivile izwi. Noko ke, into egqalwa engalunganga? Ubusela, Ukunikelwa, uMbuso, ubuqhetseba, inkohliso - ezi zinto ongabekekanga. Kodwa nokuba okanye ukuzibek 'ityala xa ufuna ukuthatha unonophelo abazali abalupheleyo, yaye musa ukubaxelela ukuba kokuba emsebenzini? Ngaba ndiziva ndinetyala ukuba awufuni ukunxibelelana nomntu, aze amxelele ngayo? Sixelelwa ukuba ukuze sonwabe kufuneka ulandele abakulindele kwabanye, yaye ke ukuba akunjalo, ke wena - ityala.

Owokuqala ukufezekisa oku nabazali. Baby kufuneka baphendule zonke izicelo zabo kunye nemiyalelo xa ukusilela kukho sisohlwayo. Emva koko, ootitshala enkulisa kunye nootitshala besikolo ukuwisa ukuziphatha ethile esikolweni. Kufuneka sifunde omhle, ndizole, musa ilizwi lakho kwaye musa siphikisane. Makhe sijonge imeko ngokuqonda. Ngaba abantwana - azalwe "Obalaseleyo" yaye ezihambayo abantwana, apho Tyhila ngaphandle iimbaleki ezinkulu okanye abadanisi, ngoko ke kukha beve kweyobunzululwazi. Ziyifumana ezintathu, ngokuqwalasela, kwaye ngaxeshanye, abazali nootitshala babe kuzo ingqiqo letyala. Okunye - ngaphezulu. Le elivisayo uba umfana, inkwenkwe okanye intombazana, amanqina zonke ezi izithintelo.

Kufakwe uxanduva ngendlela ityala

uluntu ezikhoyo namhlanje ikakhulu ibandakanya abantu kukungakhathali. Oku ingelilo ityala labo; ngokuba oko - inani lootitshala. Kunokuba kukhula usana uxanduva, ke ngenkuthalo ibalwe ingqiqo ityala. Yintoni na iwayini? Le ukuzisola kuba yintoni na sootvetstvuesh i abakulindele kwabanye. Yintoni uxanduva buqu? Le ngqiqo ukuqonda ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba benze izinto okubi kwabanye.

Umntu othe zange ziphuhliswe uxanduva, ungenza benze izinto ezimbi kwaye wenze into ephosakeleyo ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle koloyiko, ukuba uyazi ukuba bona uya kohlwaywa. Ukuba umntu onoxanduva ngokupheleleyo ukuba yonke into ayenzayo, yena uyazazi zonke izenzo zakhe kuba besoyika isohlwayo kuphela, kodwa nangenxa ukushukumisa zangaphakathi.

Esi sigqibo ngokwesiseko ngentla siya ukuzoba oku kulandelayo. Unetyala - ceba kwaye oluphezu kwethu. Ukuba sele umntu omdala, zama ukuhamba kude kulo imvakalelo kwaye sithatha oko ngemvo ulwazi. Ukuba ungumzali yaye ukukhulisa umntwana, musa ukunyanzela umntwana bazive benetyala kuba oko akazange ihlangabezane nokulindeleyo.