Uthando lokuqala: ibali lokuphila

Uthando lokuqala ... Ngokukhawuleza kuza kamva wonke umntu. Kwaye akunandaba nokuba loo mntu uyifunayo okanye ayifuni, uyasusa umda weqiniso, uphume kwilizwe lamaphupha, amava, ubukhali beemvakalelo, ngamanye amaxesha, maye, zidimazeke kakhulu. Uthando lokuqala luhlala lubonakala ngexesha apho ungalindelanga. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenzeka rhoqo kwiminyaka yesikolo. Enyanisweni, kukho abantu abakhumbula ngokumomotheka iimvakalelo eziye zakhawuleza kwiqela elincinane le-kindergarten, kodwa abanakubizwa ngokuba banzulu ngokwenene.

Kwaye ngokwenene iimvakalelo zokuqala abantu abajamelana nazo malunga nesini esahlukileyo zivame ukuzisa intlungu kunye nokudumala. Abaninzi sele bekulungele ukuqonda oku, befunda iincwadi baze balaphule amanye amabali abantu. Bakholelwa ukuba uthando lokuqala luya kudlulela, kwaye elinye liza kulandela. Yaye inyaniso ibonisa ukuba oku kunjalo. Iimvakalelo ezinjalo aziveki zihlandlo zokugqibela. Kwaye imbali, xa umntu edibanisa ubomi bakhe nento yokuqala yokuthanda, ngokuqhelekileyo ayinalo. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba iimvakalelo ezintsha eziye zavela ebusheni ziyakucingwa njengento engacwengekanga, ingenangqondo, engumntwana.

Ngokutsho kweengqondo zengqondo, uthando lokuqala luvavanyo olukhulu lomntu. Kuza kuba yintoni, ikusasa kuxhomekeka, oko kukuthi, indlela ubudlelwane nabameli bobulili obuhlukile buza kuphuhliswa ngayo kwikamva. Iingcali zithi, ngokufanelekileyo, uthando lolutsha lufanele luzaliswe ngokupheleleyo. Ngaloo mvakalelo, umele ukhumbule ngokukhawuleza ngokudabuka okukhulu, ukumomotheka okanye ukufudumala. Kodwa, ngelishwa, imeko apho umfanekiso womthandi wokuqala ulandelelana ubomi obungenakuphika. Ngokuqhelekileyo bajamelene nabasetyhini. Mhlawumbi bahleleleke kakhulu kunamadoda, banzulu kakhulu ngezinto zonke kwaye banokunyaniseka. Kodwa ke ke, oomama bahlala bexhamle kumava abo ngokuthandana kokuqala, kwaye bazive benentlungu enzima, abakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kunye nabo bantu abasondeleyo, kunye namadoda okwenene. Akunakwenzeka ukukhumbula bonke ubomi bokuqala kokubanga okanye amava ezesondo kunye nomntu othandekayo, ecinga ukuba akukho nto yaphezulu ayiyi kuba khona. Ewe, uthando lokuqala alukhohliwe, kwaye oku kuyinyaniso. Kodwa khumbula ukuba kuyadingeka kuphela ekupheleni kwengqondo.

Izikhumbuzo zothando lokuqala zisoloko ziza kwala mabhinqa abancinci abangazange bakwazi ukufumana ulonwabo kubomi bentsapho. Oko kukuthi, banokutshata, babele kwaye bavelise abantwana, kodwa bachithe bonke ubomi babo becinga ngoYe. Nangona ebudeni wayekade ekhohliwe ngobukho babo, kwaye ngokubanzi abazange benze nantoni na into enhle kubo: kungekudala nakwixesha langoku. Abasetyhini abathanda i-masochist, lonke ixesha elikhumbula imihla yokudala, kufuneka uyeke ukuhlukumeza wena nabanye. Kungcono ukusombulula iingxaki zakho kwilizwe lenene.

Kwakhona kwenzeka ukuba abo bathanda ukuva ubunzima beengcinga zabo zobutsha. Abafazi abanjalo bavuyiswa kukungonwabi. Baza kunye nokuqhubeka kwamabali ahlulekayo kwaye bahlala ekhanda kwakhona kwakhona. Kukho neempompe ezinjalo ezilungele ukuhlukanisa iimvakalelo. Bathanda iqabane langoku, kodwa ngelo xesha, abavumeli ukuhamba kwiimvakalelo zabo zangaphambili.

Ziziphi iingcebiso ezinokunikezelwa ngabafel 'ukholo? Phila ngoku. Kwaye ukuba uthando lokuqala lukulethela iimvakalelo eziqinileyo, kwaye zenze ukuba buhlungu kunye nokudumala, khululwa. Akukho mntu unokulibala, kodwa ubomi abuyi kukhokelela kuyo nayiphi na into enhle ngokuzikhumbula kuphela. Yonke into eyenzekayo kubantu iyenzeka njengoko kufanelekile. Ngako oko, kukufanelekile ukuthetha isithuba sokuthi "mbulela" ngokukhawuleza ukunika uncedo olunzulu. Kwaye ukuba bashiya "isiqabunga" entliziyweni yabo, bayalimaza, kungumqondiso ohlala kuwo. Ingqondo entsha, ukuba uyayivula impela umphefumlo wakho, ingaba yintlungu yokubandezeleka.