Ndingayenza ntoni ukuba indoda yam ihlambalaza?

Ngelishwa, iingxaki zentsapho - oku akuqhelekanga, nokuba ngaba ngumbuzo wokuhlambalaza rhoqo kunye nokuhlaselwa. Enyanisweni, ukuba ngaba besetyhini bexesha elide belinyamezela unyango olunjalo, umfazi wesimanje akafanele avumele oku. Yingakho bonke abafazi befuna ukwazi ukuba benzani ukuba indoda ihlambalaze okanye ibethe. Kwenzeka ukuba, kubonakala ngathi, le ngxaki ayikwazi ukusombululwa, kwaye nazo zonke iindlela zonyango zonyango kunye nohlalutyo olunzulu lwengqondo abanamandla. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, akumele ulahlekelwe yintliziyo kwaye ulahlekelwe yithemba elifanelekileyo. Nangona inyaniso yokuba inani labasetyhini abanobundlobongela basekhaya lwandisa imihla ngemihla, kukho abo bazimisele ukulwa nabo namalungelo abo. Ukongezelela, ukuba indoda ihlambalaza okanye ihlaba umfazi wayo, iyakwazi ukuya enkundleni ukuze incede kunye nenkxaso. Nayi impendulo yombuzo othi "yintoni oyenzayo ukuba indoda iqalekise". Into ephambili akuyiyoyiki kwaye uqiniseke ngokufanelekileyo kwakho, njengoko umthetho ungasecaleni lakho.

Khumbula ukuba kungenakuphi na into onokuthetha ngayo njengoko okhokho bakho bakwenzayo, bathi, ukubetha, uthanda. Emva kwakho konke, ungumfazi ophucukileyo kwaye ofundisweyo, luhlobo luthando onokuthetha ngalo xa umntu "onothando" ebeka engozini, enokulimaza wena kunye nempilo yakho. Yaye apho uvela khona ekuthandeni, ukuba indoda yakho iya kuhlala ihlazisa kwaye ikuhlambalaze. Akunakwenzeka. Kwaye ukuba oko kwenzeka kancinane, ngoko, qi ni sekise, kuya kuphinda kwenzeke kwakhona. Mhlawumbi ngenyanga, mhlawumbi ngonyaka, kodwa kwindlela yobundlobongela, akukho kubuya. Kwaye akufanele ubekezelele kwaye uvumele konke ukuba kuhambe "kwiibherki". Zi khusele!

Kakade, nayiphi na ibhinqa kunzima ukuqonda ukuba umyeni wakhe ungumtyholi kwaye sekuyisikhathi sokuthatha inxaxheba. Kodwa ukuba ubuzibuze umbuzo othi "yintoni oyenzayo xa umyeni ekuthuka rhoqo", ke lo ngumqondiso othi ixesha lokuhlenga yonke into okanye ukuphelisa ulwalamano, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani nokubuhlungu. Kuyakwenza okulungileyo.

Enyanisweni, kuthekani ukuba indoda ihlambalaza? Okokuqala, zama ukuthetha nomyeni wakho kwindawo ekhululekile. Zama ukuphakamisa ithoni kwaye ungathethi ngezikhalazo zakho kwaye uzilimaze. Umsebenzi wakho kukuqonda isizathu sokuziphatha. Mhlawumbi unetyala lokuthile. Ukuba intetho yahluleka, buza umntu kumhlobo okanye izihlobo ukuba uzame ukwenza okufanayo. Ukuba zonke iinzame zingenanto, qha ga mshelana neengqondo zentsapho, ubone oko akutshoyo ngako. Mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka ufumane inxalenye yesikhashana. Into ephambili ayikuphelelwa lithemba kwangaphambili, kuba yonke into inako kwaye iya kutshintshwa ukuba awukaze uhlangabezane nokuhlaselwa. Emva koko, kulo mzekelo, akukho nto enokukwazi ukulinda. Ekubeni ukuba umyeni uyabetha into enokuyenza kwimeko? - Ukuqhuba!

Yintoni endiyenzayo ukuba umyeni wam abulale?

Ukuba ujamelene neengxaki ezifanayo kwaye unenjongo yokugcina intsapho yakho, ngoko kufuneka usebenze ngokucophelela kwaye ngokukhawuleza. Okokuqala, khumbula ukuba uyamesaba, ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda umyeni wakho, oko kuthetha ukuba ukwesaba akuyona ndawo! Zama ukuba unomdla, unomdla kwaye uncedo njengoko kunokwenzeka. Mxelele ngamanye amaninzi ngosuku ukuba ulungile kangakanani kwaye uyayikhathalela, unenhlanhla kangakanani naye. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba umyeni wakho aqonde ukuba xa elahlekelwa ukulawula, wenza kakubi aze azisole ngokuqinisekileyo ngaye. Emva koko, ukuba yonke into ingakujikeleza, ngoko kukulungele ukulibala malunga nayiphi na imizamo yokulungisa yonke into kwaye uhambe nje.

Ngaloo ndlela, ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa kwintsapho yakho kuya kuqhelana nokuqhelana, ke ungazami ukugcina ubudlelwane obunjalo. Emva kwakho konke, umntu othandayo akanakukulimaza okanye kukucaphukisa. Zihloniphe! Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uya kufumana umntu oya kukuthanda kwaye ahlale ebonisa uthando lwakho ngaphandle kobundlobongela kuye.