Ukuzalelwa ephupheni: kutheni uphupha?

Ziziphi iimeko ezilindele umntu oza kuzaliswa ephupheni? Ezi ngxaki zihlale ziqikelela ukuzalwa kwabantwana ngobomi bokwenene. Amaphupha afana nephupha aya kukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba yintoni imfihlelo echaza iphupha. Kubalulekile kuphela ukukhumbula umfanekiso ofudumele ebusuku, ukuya kwiinkcukacha ezincinci. Ngoko, ulindele ntoni umphuphi?

Ukuzalelwa ephupheni: incwadi yephupha yeFreud

I-psychologist edumileyo idlala iminyaka emininzi ekufundeni yonke into edibene nehlabathi lamaphupha ebusuku, izifundo zibonakaliswa kwimisebenzi yakhe, eyaziwayo. Incwadi yakhe yephupha kuya kunceda ukufumana impendulo kumbuzo wento ekuthethwa ngayo ukuzalelwa ephupheni. UFrud ukholelwa ukuba okubaluleke kakhulu isondo somphuphi, apho ukutolika ngokuthe ngqo kuxhomekeke kuyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo la maphupha aya kubafazi, kodwa kwiimeko ezinqabileyo, amadoda akhathazekile.

Xa ebona ukuba ufumana ukuhanjiswa kwamaphupha asebusuku, ummeli onoxanelekileyo wesini unokulindela ukuba uqhelanise kakuhle kunye neyoqobo, eya kwenzeka kwixesha elizayo. Akunakunyuswa ukuba kungekudala umntu uza kubonakala ekugqibeleni, ngubani oza kuba ngumlingane wakhe ebomini. Kuyathakazelisa ukuba ekuqaleni ulwalamano olutsha aluyi kuthatyathwa ngokungathí sina, kodwa ukunyamezela kwe-chevalier kuya kumnyanzela ukuba atshintshe ingqondo yakhe aze azinikezele kwintando yesigqibo.

Umntwana onesondo esinamandla unokuthatha umntwana kumphupha. Ziyintoni izithembiso zobusuku ngebali elingaqhelekanga kumntu? Ubomi boqobo, umphuphi kufuneka agcine isilumkiso esilungileyo kuyo yonke into ephathelele kwimicimbi engaphandle komtshato. Kukho ukuphakama okuphezulu ukuba iqabane elithandanayo liza kukhulelwa okanye livuze ngesifo se-venereal. Nangona kunjalo, ubuthongo bunokuthi lube ngumbono wokwesaba, ukuba umntu uloyika njalo into enje.

Iphupha leNgxoxo nguRobert Longo

Umlumbi owaziwayo uvakalisa uluvo lwakhe malunga nento elindele umphuphi oza kuzalwa ephupheni. Ngelishwa, u-Yuri Longo wenza isibikezelo esibi kakhulu. Ubomi bobubomi, umntu ujongene nomsebenzi onzima, apho iimeko ziya kumphoqa ukuba enze. Kwiinkqubo zokusombulula ingxaki, kuya kufuneka anqande imimiselo emininzi eya kuqhubeka ihamba endleleni yakhe. Iphupha limele lithembele kuphela ekunyamezelweni nangomonde, kuba akunakuncedo ukuthembela kuncedo lwabanye.

Ngaba kuya kunokwenzeka ukunqoba imeko enzima ngokuphepha ukulahlekelwa kakubi? UMalician uLongo ukholelwa ukuba oku kuxhomekeka kakhulu ukuba umntwana uyaphila kumaphupha ebusuku. Ukuba akunjalo, amaphupha omphuphi ahlale engaqondakali. Ukuba kunjalo, unokufumana ithemba elifanelekileyo.

Umama

Uninzi lwezikhokelo zokuhamba ngeenxa zonke zamaphupha aphikisa ukuba ukuba unina uqhelane nomphuphi, ngokwenene ufuna uncedo lwakhe, alithandabuza ukuba acele. Nangona kunjalo, icebo elinjalo linokuthi ukuba umnini wephupha uyamthanda ulwalamano lobomi, kwaye uvakalelwa kukuba lo mfazi unomona, okwenza ukuba uxhalabe. Ukuba umntu kufuneka athathe ngokuzalwa komama, yintoni emele ulindele?

Ukuba umphuphi (indoda, owesifazane) uzibona ngokwakhe unceda unina ukuba abe nomntwana, eli phupha linokutolika ngeendlela ezimbini. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amaphupha asebusuku anesithembiso esinjengeliso lonwabo kunye nobutyebi kumntu owabeletha. Ukuba umama uyagula, kungekudala uza kuphulukana, ubuncinane imeko yakhe izinzile. Nangona kunjalo, iphupha likwazi ukuxela iingxabano, kunokwenzeka ukuba intombi okanye unyana akayi kukwazi ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo nabazali babo, oluya kuthintela kakubi ubudlelwane phakathi kwezihlobo.

Kwi ntombi

Ngaba kufanelekile ukukhathazeka kumphuphi, omele azalwe entombi yentombi yakhe? Abaphuphayo bathi akukho sizathu sokukhathazeka. Kukho ukuphakama okuphezulu ukuba amaphupha asebusuku adibaniswe noloyiko, oluphazamisa umntu ebomini bokwenene. Uxhala ngegama lentombi yakhe, uxhalabele ngexesha lakhe elizayo. Kwakhona kunokwenzeka ukuba umphuphi ukwesaba ukukhulelwa okungenakulungiswa kwe-heiress yakhe.

Kule meko, iincwadi zephupha zincoma ukuyeka. Kubalulekile ukwamkela ukuba intombi sele ikhulile kwaye ayidingi ukunakekelwa kwabazali, ukuzama ukufumana kule miba emihle. Imizamo yokulawula umntwana okhulile iya kubangela ukuba ubuhlobo kunye naye buya kuhlahloka.

Amantombazana, odade

Ukuba umntu onyanzelekile ukuba athathe ukunikezwa koodade ephupheni kufuneka ahlwaywe? Kubonakala ukuba empilweni yangempela isihlobo sisalindele utshintsho olunokuba nolwazi oluhle nolungalunganga. Umphuphi kufanele abonise ukuqonda kwaye, ukuba kuyimfuneko, unike inkxaso ngenkxaso, kodwa ungawuncede uncedo lwakhe. Kubaluleke ngokulinganayo amaphupha asebusuku apho abazala babo, abazala babo besibini benza njengama-parturients. Akunandaba nokuba udade ungumdala okanye omncinci.

Ngaba ikhona isizathu sokwesaba kumphuphi, ngubani ozalelwe ekuzalweni kwintombi? Uninzi lwezikhokelo zokuhamba ngeenxa zonke zamaphupha zithi amaphupha asebusuku kunye nesiqhinga esifanayo zifanekisela iingxaki eziza kuwela kumntu ngobomi bokwenene. Kukho umgangatho ophezulu ukuba umnini wephupha uya kuba nexanduva olongezelelweyo ngokukhawuleza. Abayi kumthanda, kodwa uya kufuneka abhekane nazo. Ngelishwa, akuyimfuneko ukubala kuncedo lwabanye abantu kulo mzekelo.

Kwizilwanyana

Iphupha lobusuku, apho kuzaliswa izilwane ezifuywayo, ukudibanisa kuphela uxolo lwezilwanyana zezilwanyana. Cinga ukuba ikati kufuneka izalwe ephupheni. Lo mntu uphupha ntoni, ngokukodwa ukuba akanalo izifuyo zakhe? Kungenzeka ukuba ngobomi bokwenene umntu uzakuzama ukulayisha umphuphi ngemisebenzi yakhe. Kufanelekile ukucinga ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokuthatha isisombululo seengxaki, kumnini wephupha engazange abe nolwalamano ngqo.

Iphi iphupha ebusuku, apho inja ibeletha khona, iqikelele, kwaye umphuphi uyamnceda? Iphupha elinjalo kufuneka lithathwe njengesilumkiso sokuba izenzo zomnikazi wazo ziyingozi kuye. Kukho ithuba eliphakamileyo lokuba lixesha lokucamngca ngeendlela ezifunyenwe ebuntwaneni bokuqala. Ngaba zonke izicwangciso ziyanceda ngokwenene, okanye ngaba lixesha lokuyeka ezinye zazo?

Iphupho likaWangi

Yintoni umprofetikazi odumileyo athetha ngamaphupha apho abantwana bazalwa khona? Ukuthatha ukuzalwa komfazi ephupheni, ukuba umntu ukhokelwa ngumbono kaVanga, kuthetha ukujongana neenguqu ebomini kwixesha elizayo elizayo. Akukhankanywe ukuba iziganeko ezenzekayo ziya kuqala zibonakala zingabalulekanga kumphuphi. Nangona kunjalo, uluvo lwakhe luya kuguquka ngokukhawuleza.

Ngaba utshintsho luya kuba luhle okanye lubi? UVanga ugxeka ukuba oku kuxhomekeke ekuphelelweni kokuzalwa. Ukuba umfazi akanako ukukhululeka komthwalo wakhe, ukuxabana kwintsapho yomncedi kuya kupheka, ubudlelwane phakathi kwamalungu omndeni buya kuhlahloka. Okubi kakhulu, uVanga ubona iphupha apho umfazi ekuzalweni kwakhe efa kwaye engaphumeleli ukuzisa umntwana ekukhanyeni.

Ukukhanya nokuzala okunzima

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba kulula kangakanani ukuzalelwa ephupheni. Ukuba lo mphupha waphatha ngokukhawuleza lo msebenzi ngokukhawuleza, evezwe yintliziyo yokukhulula, oku kuyamangalisa. Kwixesha elizayo elizayo, uya kukwazi ukulahla umthwalo weengxaki zexesha elidala ezijongene nobomi. Kukho ukuphakama okuphezulu ukuba uya kukwazi ukudlulisela imisebenzi engathandeki kwabanye abantu.

Ukuzalwa okuchukumisayo, ngelanga, lumkisa ngeengxaki ezizayo. Ukuba inkosi yokulala iyakwazi ukukunceda umama ekubelekeni ukuba akhululwe ngumthwalo emva kokuhlushwa kade, empilweni yangempela uya kukwazi ukukhawulela ingxube yeengxaki, uphume kwiimeko ezinzima ngaphandle kokulahleka okukhulu.

Ibhuku lephupha eliyingozi

Ibhuku eliphuphayo lephupha elihle libhekiselele kumaphupha asebusuku, ukuba umntu ufanele azalwe ephupheni . Kutheni uphupha malunga nesiganeko esinjalo? Enyanisweni umphuphi uya kufuneka abelane ngolwazi lomntu, ujabule ngempumelelo. Uloyiso luya kumnika umonakalo, ukufumana ukuphucula ngokomoya.

Kwakhona, amaphupha apho abantwana abancedayo ngephupha bangazalwa, banokuqikelela ukuzalwa kwengcamango entsha. Ngeli xesha, akubalulekanga ukuba uthathe izicwangciso zakho kwi-akhawunti, nangona kubonakala kunzima ukufezekisa. Ukuqala kweprojekthi entsha kuya kuba neenhlanhla.

Ukuzalwa kwamawele

Kutheni umntu ephupha ukuba unyanzelekile ukuba azalwe ephupheni ? Ibali eliphindwe kabini lamaphupha e busuku linokuvuza umfazi osemsebenzini kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umphuphi ugalela ekuzalweni kwamawele e-Siam okanye abanye abantwana abangaqhelekanga, iphupha elinjalo libhekwa njengesilumkiso esihle. Kukho umgangatho ophezulu ukuba kungekudala umntu uya kufumana iindaba ezilindele ixesha elide eziza kumnika ixesha elide.

Kulungile ukuba amawele afika ehlabathini kwiiphupha zobusika, enze impembelelo yokugula, inobuthakathaka. Eli phupha kufuneka lithathwe njengesilumkiso, mhlawumbi lijongene nempilo yomphuphi. Ukuze ugweme iingxaki ezinzulu, kubalulekile ukuba ufumane uviwo lwezonyango ngokukhawuleza.

Eyona nto ifanelekileyo kumaphupha amawele azalwayo yiNcwadi yeNday dream. Ukuba ugxininisa ekuvunyelweni kwesi sikhokelo kwihlabathi lamaphupha, awuqiniseki ukuba umphuphi ulindele impumelelo kuyo nayiphi na imiba aya kuyenza kwithuba elizayo.

Okubi

Iinguqulelo ezininzi zephupha zikholelwa ukuba ebusuku amaphupha ayithembisi nto elungileyo, apho umntwana efa khona, uzalwa efile. Oku kusebenza kumaphupha, apho umsebenzi wombelethisi uthathwa ngqo ngephupha. Ukuzalwa komntwana ofileyo, amaphupha, xa umntu egqitha into ebonakalayo yeemvakalelo ezimbi. Kubalulekile ukuwagxotha ngokukhawuleza, mhlawumbi imeko yobomi iya kuba yimbi ngakumbi. Oku kuthethwa kwangaphambili kuyafaneleka kumaphupha apho umntwana ezalwa engahlakuliyo, engaphantsi komzimba.

Umntu omele azalwe ephupheni, kukufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba kukho igazi. Ukuba izandla zihlambulukile egazini, loo maphupha asukuba kufuneka athathwe njengesilumkiso. Ziyakwazi ukubonakalisa iingxaki zempilo, ezingenakubalwa kuphela ngumnini wephupha, kodwa nangomntu osuka kubangane bakhe abasondeleyo.

Abazali bexesha elizayo

Kukho imeko apho abantu bengafanele bathathe amaphupha amakhulu, ngandlela-thile, enxulumene nokubeletha. Okokuqala, oku kuxhalabisa abazali abaza kulungiselela ukubonakala komntwana. Kuyaziwa ukuba ukwesaba okuhambisana nokuzalwa komntwana akukhathazeki nje ngoomama kuphela, kodwa noobawo. Ukuzalelwa ephupheni kulo mzekelo kuthetha ukukhathazeka malunga novavanyo oluzayo ebomini boqobo.